Posted on May 1, 2018
The Avengers: Infinity War reviewed
*No spoilers*
So what if you were at the supermarket and you’re a solo mum because if you had a partner you don’t now and the kids are screaming and you’re trying to hold one of them on your hip while also carrying five bags and feeling guilty that you keep forgetting your canvas bag and then Mark Ruffalo comes over and says can I help you and he bends down to grab one of your bags but you bend down at the same time and then you knock heads and he just gently touches your forehead and says are you ok and you’re like I’m fine but you’re dizzy because his eyes are so kind and he says let me help you and he picks up your baby and the baby immediately likes him and he holds hands with your other child who has stopped screaming and then he grabs the bags and walks to your car and he says I’m Mark Ruffalo and he tries to shake your hand but he can’t because it’s full of bags and he blushes and laughs and then you laugh and he says this is crazy but can I make you dinner tonight and you’re like oh well yes but I can’t because my baby has to stay in his routine I can’t take him out and he says I’ll bring you dinner and you just agree and two hours later you’re wondering if you should put make up on and he just appears at your door holding peonies and hiding behind him is a little girl the same age as your son and he says this is my daughter my wife died in a terrible basement flooding accident and his daughter shyly shakes your hand and then he holds up a perfectly made macaroni cheese and you invite him in and you and your kids and Mark Ruffalo and his adorable polite child all eat together on the floor on a mat so the kids don’t smear cheese everywhere and then the kids say can we have a sleepover and you both laugh and say I think they like each other and then he looks at you a shrugs and says sleepover? And you’re like this is crazy I just met you at Pak n Save but then the kids fall asleep on the couch and you say I have some wine and you go out onto the deck and toast the stars with your cleanskin Pinot Gris and he says can I kiss you and you do and then you finish him like cheesecake and then the next morning the kids sleep in until 10am and you wake up to him making them pancakes and singing and he says I have to tell you something I have this flatmate called Steve Rogers and have you heard of polyamory and I think you’d really like him and we only believe in one sided polyamory where it’s just you and us and you’re just like yes thanks that sounds great I am keen as and have no plans tonight please lock it in. What if that happened.
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